Aug 23, 20215 min read

No.16 記住我們・好好說再見 Lillian Lee 李凱淇

Updated: Apr 28, 2022

To love myself is remembering us, ’til we meet again.

Q1. 愛自己的定義

Loving myself means…

只選擇做自己喜歡的事，對自己做的事負責任，不要太介意別人的眼光，擁抱自己所有的優點與缺點，記得要享受當下，好好過每一天的生活。

Choosing to do the things I like and being responsible for my own actions. Caring less about what other people might think. Embracing all of the good and bad things about myself, and remembering to live everyday like it’s my last day.

我的摯愛陳積榮 (Jeff Chan) 是一位生活健康、擁有夢想、對生命充滿熱情的藝人，卻在今年5月因為肺癌病逝。我們在一起將近十年了，一直視對方為終身伴侶。他的突然患病及離去，初期令我悲痛萬分，後來卻對我的生命產生了不可言喻的正向改變。

My true love, Jeff Chan, was an actor from Hong Kong. He lived healthily, had dreams and was full of passion for life. But he was taken from me this May by lung cancer. We’ve been together for almost a decade and we were partners for life. I was shocked and heartbroken at his sudden passing at first, but I soon realised the positive impact this has had on my life as time passed.

Q2. 不愛自己的狀態

Not loving myself is…

我不喜歡自己的性急，生活節奏太快會讓自己應付不來。

我不滿意自己的慢熱，內向的自己害怕跟別人打交道，因而常錯失良機。

還有自己的膽怯，明明很想表達但又不敢發聲，事情發生後只得到無奈感。

I don’t like the impatience in me, and a life lived at speed soon derails.

I’m not a fan of my introvertedness. It takes me a long time to open up to strangers, and I often miss opportunities to meet new friends.

There’s also my timidness. The words are often on the tip of my tongue, but once the moment has passed, I’m always left silent with a feeling of helplessness.

後來我漸漸明白，一切都需要平衡。

人生或長或短，Jeff的樂觀和善良，讓我學會了真正的愛與關懷，使我有勇氣去策劃一個屬於我們的展覽，鼓勵那些同樣經歷痛失摯愛的照顧者，為他們帶來一些正向的改變。

I later realised that everything in life needs balance.

Whether you live a long or short life, Jeff’s optimism in life and his good nature made me understand the true meaning of love and caring. It gave me courage to plan an exhibition about our life together. I hope to encourage others who have suffered a similar experience, and bring them positive change.

今次展覧特別設計了紀念 T 恤作義賣，所有收益將全數款項捐給慈善機構《願望成真基金》計劃，捐款用作支持那些正面臨著最困難時刻的病童，帶給他們多一點希望與喜悅。

As part of the exhibition, we are selling specially-designed t-shirts for charity fundraising with all proceeds going to Make-A-Wish Hong Kong. The donation will create life-changing wishes for children with critical illnesses and give them hope and joy.

我不擅文字表達，於是選擇用自己最擅長的媒介，紀念我們在一起那段最美好的時光，提醒所有身邊的人要愛得及時。不論是情侶、父母、兄弟姊妹或朋友之間的愛，都要及時分享和表達。

I’m not good with words so I used the medium I’m most familiar with to remember our time together, and to remind others to cherish the time they still have with loved ones. Whether that’s your partner, parents, siblings or friends, cherish and express the love you have for each other.

Q3. 愛自己的生活模式

The lifestyle of loving myself…

相信自己值得擁有，接受身邊所有事物，多聆聽別人眼中的自己，多接受別人的意見，能成為更好的自己。

Believe you are worth it. Learn to accept everything around you. Pay more attention to how others see you and learn to understand what advice they are trying to offer. It can help to improve you.

無論身處何時何地，都可做自己想做的事，隨心而活，不過度盲目追逐物資，心靈滿足才是最重要的。

Being able to do what I want, wherever and whenever. Being carefree. It’s important to have fulfillment from within, and not fall into the trap of chasing after material things.

藝術可以令人的思緒回歸至很純粹的狀態，Jeff 的愛成就了我，他的勇敢與善良，令我體會愛的力量，我們穿過了喜和悲，也跨過了生和死。藉著展覽《記住我們,好好說再見!》，我們會以多媒體形式在五個展區與大家分享「愛得及時」。就算很難過，還是要記得擁抱。

Art can make people’s state-of-mind return to a peaceful place. Jeff’s love completed me. His bravery and kindness made me feel the power of love. We’ve been through the highs, the lows, and life and death. Our exhibition, Remembering us,’til we meet again, is split into five sections, and we hope to share the idea of “seizing love'' through a multimedia experience. Don’t forget to hug your loved ones even in times of sorrow.

我們二人都熱愛藝術，曾經有過要在畫廊裡舉行結禮的想法。現在透過展覽，把所有友人的祝福集結起來，見證我們的童話故事式大結局，好好跟陳積榮真正的道別。在設計展覽的過程中，我發現我並沒有選擇逃避，原來這是一場自我藝術治癒。陳積榮，謝謝你。

Jeff and I both love art. We even thought about having our wedding at an art gallery. I hope to put together all the well wishes from friends and family at our exhibition as a testament to our fairytale ending. I wish to say a proper goodbye to my beloved Jeff. Through the process of designing this exhibition, I realised I chose to not run away. This is going to be my healing process. Thank you, Jeff.