Apr 12, 20213 min read

專訪10 Iris Yung #我的愛自己是活自己所想

Updated: Nov 10, 2021

To love myself is to live my way.

Q1.愛自己的定義

Loving myself means...

父母自小離異，父親工作的關係長期不在香港，只能數星期見上一兩天。

My parents separated when I was young and I was raised by my aunt. Because of work, my father travelled a lot and I’d see him maybe a few days a month.

小時候由姑姑照顧，童年上基本是自己一人，在上小學的時候覺得與別人不同，身處學校的家長活動也感到無比大的壓力，因為沒有家長可以陪同我出席。

I’ve always felt alone growing up. Going to school was no different. I had this intense pressure upon me, as I never had parents who attended my school activities.

經常在想是否因為我不夠好，所以我不值得被愛？所以他們都不想理我？常常感到自卑，在家中也不說話了，一直配合家人想要的期望，反正沒有人在意我。

I question my self-worth. I’m always thinking about my shortcomings. Am I not worth their love? I don’t speak much at home. I just accept what my family expects from me. Not that anyone cares anyway.

在早幾年父親離世了，受到很大的打擊，決定搬離舊居，獨自租下一個小工作室，封閉起自己不與其他人相處。在工作室裡面看書，作畫。

I was hit hard when my father died a few years back. I left home and rented myself a small studio. Alone and uninterrupted, I’d lock myself in and focus on my paintings and reading books.

在畫畫過程中慢慢發現原來許多感受從來都沒有與任何人分享過，自己一直默默地承受著。後來畫畫就好像我的療藥，令我認識到了自己認識到了世界，慢慢地我離開了自己的牛角尖和憂傷，決定好好地感受周遭的一切，在生活中發掘更多的靈感和樂趣，聽從自己心中的聲音，活自己所想為自己而活，最大的目的就是希望自己可以快樂。

In the process of painting, I slowly discovered much of my feelings have never been shared with anyone before, and I have been silently enduring them. Painting later became my medication. It helped me to understand myself and the outside world. I was slowly able to fight off my stubbornness and sorrow, and decided to start afresh by rediscovering everything around me through new feelings of inspiration and the joys in life. Listen to the voice in your heart and live a life you want for yourself. My greatest wish is to be happy.

家人缺席了自己的童年，那自己更應該要照顧好自己，擁抱自己，比其他人更加要努力去感受世界。

If your family was absent during your childhood, you should take even greater care of yourself. Embrace yourself and work harder than others to really feel what the world has to offer.

Q2. 不愛自己的狀態

Not loving myself is...

漠視心裡的聲音和想法，拒絕接受真實的現狀，認為自己不值得被愛，不斷否定自我，自我貶低或放棄。

Ignoring my inner voice and the thoughts in my heart. Refusing to accept reality. Thinking that I’m not worthy of being loved. Denying myself, demeaning myself or giving up.

Q3. 愛自己的生活模式

The lifestyle of loving myself...

盡量去做令自己開心的事，不斷感受和觀察周遭的一切，結合運用在自己的作品上。

Try to do things that make you happy. Always be open to feeling and observing everything around you, and use them as inspiration to your work.

不要否定自己的情緒，盡可能去感受——傷心或開心都是你存在的證據，好好感受好好地回應內在的自我，從錯誤中學習，從挫敗中成長。

Don't be so quick to dismiss your emotions. Feel as much as possible - feelings of sorrow or joy are both evidence of your very existence. Listen and respond in kind to your inner voice. You must learn from your mistakes in order to grow.